To make matters worse, your friends might talk to you about who they are dating or how things are going in their relationship and instead of being happy for them if things are going well, you find yourself either not caring or being bitter about it.

Being singled out is one of those things that can happen at any age – it’s not just a young person who’s friends have all started dating and getting married. Those who are getting over a divorce might find themselves back in the single scene while they are nearing retirement age – making it even more difficult in some cases.

It’s hard to say why friendships seem to be one of the most difficult things to maintain when one of the friends starts dating or gets married, especially if it’s been a long time friendship such as two friends who have known each other since kindergarten. Part of it might be that we often fall in the quest to find true love that we forget about the other people in our life – the other part may stem in the fact that suddenly the things you used to do with your friend are now replaced by the new love interest of theirs. I don’t think it is intentional or fueled by emotion – it happens simply because there are only 24 hours a day and while we’d like to talk to everybody it’s just not always possible.

So What’s A Single Guy or Girl To Do?

If you’re stuck feeling like you’re the only one who’s still single or without a date, here’s some tips to help you deal with it:

1. Don’t Feel Sorry For Yourself: It’s easy to get caught up in the whole “woe is me, nobody wants to hang out with me” kind of thinking. Once you get into the self pity party it’s hard to get back out and go enjoy yourself. If you start feeling like you’re a hopeless loser, (and  know it’s totally natural to feel that way) – remember just because that’s the way you feel doesn’t make it true.

2. Immerse Yourself in Activities: It doesn’t matter what kind of activity you decide to be interested in – one of the best ways to deal with being single is to keep yourself occupied doing things you genuinely enjoy doing. Take up salsa dancing classes or do things you’d never considered before. Not only will you have fun, but you’ll likely meet some new people to interact with as well.

3. Make the Effort if the Friendship is Important to You: If the friendship is important to you, then you will need to be the one to make the effort to keep the friendship going. A lot of times when friends get married and start having kids it’s not that they don’t want to hang out with you or see you – in fact it could be the opposite, they just haven’t had the time to call. They might not call you not because they suddenly stopped liking you, but maybe are afraid now that they’ve settled down and have the boring life you wouldn’t be interested in them anymore.

4. Don’t Go On Dates Out of Desperation: To make up with your single-hood-ness, you could go on multiple dates on that quest to find true love. There’s thousands of online dating sites to try and meeting up with someone takes no little more than a few clicks of a mouse. But there’s a big difference between dating someone out of desperation and dating someone because they genuinely interest you. When you’re in desperation mode, you might find yourself settling for less than you really deserve or tricking yourself into thinking you like someone when really maybe the chemistry is not even there. Make a Rule: You’ll only date someone because they genuinely interest you and have similiar interests and passions – not just because they are a date.

5. If All Else Fails, Remember This: All friendships and relationships on earth come to an end eventually. While this might not seem like uplifting advice, if you think of it that some people may only be meant to be in our lives for a little while, you can look back being thankful for what you had and move forward to enjoy each and every day from this point forward. Nothing lasts forever, which is why its important to enjoy every single day you have – whether you’re with your old friends or meeting and making new ones.

Do you have any thoughts about being singled out when all your friends are in relationships except for you? We’d love to hear your comments below.

Wives want to be desired.  I know this because my wife told me so a long time ago.  It’s not that hard to figure them out once you’ve mastered that fact.  So, when you know what they want, how do you give it to them.  That’s not so easy.  Women vary in what they see as romantic but as a general rule, if you show them you value them, you are close to winning them over.  The following ten items are ones I try to remember to do.  You don’t have to do them all at once, in fact, these might be more appreciated when they are done periodically over time, from the heart.  My wife and I do not have a perfect marriage but we truly love each other.  We are always trying ways to make it work more smoothly.  I feel strongly based on 6 years of marriage that these 10 suggestions go a long way to convincing her she is the one whom you desire.

Touch her. There are many books on this and some women have different preferences here.  It can be as simple as rubbing the top of her hand or simply massaging her back.  Touch is very important and you should be consciously doing it as often as you remember.

Ask about her projects. Make sure you don’t forget that your wife has a life and job just like you do.  Ask her about it and show genuine interest when you do so.  As you draw near to her this way, she will draw near to you.  Her support will grow exponentially when you ask about what she is doing away from you.

Remember details when she shares. After listening to her, recall things and details she said.  If you have to, jot them down for future conversations.  We all like it when people remember what we’ve said.  Your wife is no exception, in fact, she likes it more than most.  More importantly, she needs to hear the support from you.

Mirror her when she shares. Mirroring is like instant validation.  It has value for many reasons.  It sounds like: “What I heard you say was: …”

Sit/cuddle next to her on the couch. My wife and I usually sit on separate couches.  Often when I am working through something for my blog or lesson plans, I sense the need to breakaway and just go sit next to her.  Her coy smile of surprise always lets me know that this simple act showed I desire her.

Surprise her with a babysitter and take her out. This is easier said than done but highly worth it, I have found.

Call her in the day from work for no reason other than “I’m thinking of you.”

Say sentences like: “I appreciate it when you …” Again, the validation is crucial.  Remember guys that no one can affect your wife as much as you can.  Don’t think automatically she is ok with you and herself and the kids and everything else in this chaotic life.  You need to be the voice of calm and strength liftin her up and convincing her every day that you indeed desire her.

Clean up the bedroom and light a scented candle before bedtime. A fun one!

Ask her opinion about the important issues of your career. Entrust your wife with this one and you will find its a double win!

In closing:  Are there some other ways you know to show your wife you desire her? Please share.

It would seem with billions of people in the world, meeting people that have the qualities of a good friend shouldn’t be that hard. And yet, for many of us finding that friend in of itself is a challenge – and continuing that friendship over the years and trials of life for many just isn’t possible. There have been times in my life I had so many friends I couldn’t fit them all together in a giant room – and other times I could count all of  my friends on one hand and still have fingers left over.

I did some thinking about what really makes a good friend and what characteristics they have. I thought back on the past friends I’ve had and presently have – how they treated me, how I treated them – why we are still friends today or why our friendship has changed or dissolved.

All of this thinking had led me to create this list of the qualities of a good friend.

A good friend is honest and trustworthy

A good friend lets you be yourself and doesn’t try to change you or change to be liked by you

A good friend shows they care

A good friend never would let you do something that would hurt you

A good friend calls you just to say hi or see how you are

A good friend is genuinely interested and involved in your life

A good friend can tell if you’re happy or not happy without you saying a word

A good friend sticks with you through the terrible-horrible parts of life

A good friend makes time for you even if they don’t have a lot of time

A good friend has enough dirt on you to blackmail you for life – but keeps his or her mouth shut

A good friend can forgive you when you make a mistake or screw up

A good friend never takes more from you than they can give back

A good friend is respectful towards you and every other person in your life, whether they like them or not

These are just some of my thoughts on what makes a good friend based from my own experiences. What qualities do you think make a good friend? Do you have many of these friends or just a close few?

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

In my friend I find a second self.
Isabelle Norton

If I had only one friend left, I’d want it to be you.
Paul Overstreet

The best mirror is an old friend.
George Herbert

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
Samuel Butler

Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or to keep one.
Robert E. Lee

Friends are God’s apology for relatives.
Hugh Kingsmill

You can’t always sit in your corner of the forest and wait for people to come to you… you have to go to them sometimes.
Winnie the Pooh

You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing.
E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web

It’s the friends you can call up at 4 a.m. that matter.
Marlene Dietrich

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes when they’re not so good, and sympathizes with your problems when they’re not so bad.
Arnold H. Glasgow

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, “What! You too? I thought I was the only one!”
C. S. Lewis

Do you have a favorite friendship quote? I’d love to hear it, so feel free to share it in the comments below.

P.S. – Did you know you can email this page to a friend? Click on the “Share This” button and then the email tab at the top.

To help you make this decision, we’ve outlined what will happen if you decide to go ahead and admit your feelings to your friend or if you decide to stay in a platonic friendship.

Possible Outcomes if You Go Ahead and “Risk Your Friendship”:

1. 1. You end up getting married and living happilly ever after.
2. 2. You end up dating for awhile and then things aren’t as rosy as you thought they would be so you end up breaking up
3. 3. You admit your feelings but your friend doesn’t feel the same way so then things are forever awkward between you again and your friendship starts to dissolve.
4. 4. You both talked about it and mutually decided to stay “just friends” but then you drift apart when one of you gets boyfriend/girlfriend. (See Damien’s article about The Friend of the Opposite Sex Wall.)

Possible Outcomes if You Hide Your True Feelings or Decide to Stay “Just Friends”

1. 1. You hide your feelings and drive yourself crazy to the point you can no longer stand to be around your friend.
2. 2. You stay “just friends”…until one of you starts dating someone else and you lose your friendship due to lack of time or jealousy issues and then you stop talking to each other completely.
3. 2. You stay friends and continue to see each other regularly but not without a lot of drama from each of your respective partners until you both find yourselves single again and decide to hook up with each other.
4. 3. You find yourself wondering “what if?” years later down the road if you should have been honest about your feelings and let it develop into something more.

If you look at the possible outcomes for each scenario, you should realize a common theme: You’re either going to stay in love with that person or you’re going to end up losing the friendship anyway whether you confront your true feelings or not. Since you’re going to lose the frienship no matter what you do, you might as well go forward with it anyway and hope for the best possible outcome: that you marry your best friend – which is what I did.