Love generally is an aquired feeling – it’s not as if by magic one day you suddenly realize you are deeply and madly in love with someone. It takes a little time to get to know one another and really know yourself as well in order to decide if your new relationship is headed towards a lifetime of commitment and friendship, or maybe if it is just something for fun or an experience to learn by for the time being.

If you think you may be lovestruck, or wonder if the person you are dating might be falling for you, these signs will help you decide. Even if you are in a long term committed relationship, reading on can give you some insight on things you can do to add to the love you already have.

1. Selflessness: There’s a fine balance between selflessness in a relationship and the amount of focus you put on yourself and your partner separately. If you find yourself putting the interests and needs of your partner before your own, there’s a very good chance that one of the reasons for this is because you are starting to love them. Being able to put someone ahead of yourself is not something we are naturally inclined to do – but makes relationships go much smoother. Remember though that you do have needs also and should not be making sacrifice after sacrifice – hopefully your partner is doing the same and putting your needs ahead of his or her own.

2. You like their flaws: Nobody is perfect, and all of us have a few major or minor quirks and strange habits. Some might find certain habits disgusting, annoying, or ridiculous. But if you find that one of their flaws or quirks only makes them more endearing it’s a good chance that love is right around the corner, since being together is about accepting the good and bad with each other.

3. I and Me become We: At some point in a relationship, we stop making plans and thinking of ourselves as individuals and start thinking about how the other person is affected by our lives. When you start noticing that a lot of your plans include each other it shows that you’ve started to become accustomed to and enjoy having the other person around quite a good bit. Thoughts of the future together (ie: planning a vacation 6 months from now) also show a good indication that love is in the air.

4. Talking for Hours About Nothing: Whether you’re discussing philosophy or who invented the hot dog bun, if you can talk to one another for hours it’s a very good sign that the two of you enjoy each other’s company and can be a sign of a lasting relationship.

5. Family Gets Involved: Most people will not introduce you to their parents, their grandparents, or their fifth cousin once removed on a first date. It’s also likely you wouldn’t be invited to family functions such as weddings, reunions, birthday parties or others unless your partner felt comfortable with you being there. For some this is the first sign of showing commitment when you start meeting family.

6. Vulnerability: It’s not easy to open up to someone and share your deep darkest secrets or feelings. When you both feel comfortable about being vulnerable around one another it opens the door for trust, honesty, and open communication – all good things for a lasting and loving relationship.

7. They Make You Smile: When someone goes the extra mile just to make sure you’re happy or smiling, it shows that obviously they care very much for you. When you’re not even together and you see something that reminds them of you and it makes you smile – it’s a sign that shows that you are definitely falling for them.

What do you think about the signs of falling in love? Want to add any others or share your experience of how you knew you loved your partner? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Hi there IMBL subscribers and readers!  It’s great to be back.  I’ve been meaning to continue this series on love homework because I feel it is so valuable to have cognitive things you can do when working on a relationship.  Today I found some homework that was really valuable and it wasn’t with a couples counselor or on a date:  I washed my wife’s car!  It was something that needed to be done especially on the inside.  I saw Taco Bell wrappers, for example, that are now no longer in print   My son and I drove it to an outdoor do it yourself bay and we had a blast using the machines and getting the car like a new one on the lot.

There is something bonding and endearing when you go through a loved ones trash.  That sounds very odd I know but trust me, it is true.  When you humble yourself enough to start sifting through their car, you sort of fall in love all over again.  I can imagine once again that sounds really strange but today it was true.  I know in the the past my wife has dome my ironing as a nice surpise and when she’s finished she has commented how she felt close to me ironing my work-shirts.  This stuff sounds strange but it really works. 

It may be ironing or washing a car or something totally different.  Whatever it is, I recommend you pick something they themselves must do for themeselves but have a hard time getting to.  Watch what it does for them … and surprisingly you!  And hey, if they say kissing makes you live longer, try some chores for your lover and you’ll live to 120!

Is there any love homework could you try in the next few days?  Thanks for being a subscriber or reader at IMBL!

Read more of Damien’s writing at his three blogs:
Postcards from the Funny Farm | Damien at the Speed of Life | Dynamite Lesson Plan

So forget about bars and clubs and unlikely chance romantic encounters at a laundromat. Start learning about how to network. You need to start building as large of a circle of friends as you can handle. If you’re not meeting new people from your friends, it means you need to make more friends.

The hardest part is building that new network of friends. Here are some places you can start meeting more people who start to naturally expand your circle of friends.

At Work: If you work for a big company, start socializing with people in different departments or do other jobs that the people you normally hang out with. If you don’t really have a job where you can socialize with others, consider getting a part-time job at a restaurant or retail store. Soon you’ll have new friends to hang out with after work. They’ll introduce you to other friends.

At Schools: If you go to a university, you can meet people just by joining the student union or a club that has similiar interests as you. If you’ve long graduated, you can still consider taking classes at a community college or attending a workshop that interests you.

At Churches:If you go to church, chances are you are missing out on many opportunities to meet and network with people. Read your church bulletin for different weekly activities you can attend. See if there are any groups you can join. Make it a point to introduce yourself to at least 5 other people each time you attend a service. If you church has different service times, try going to a different time each week.

Volunteer: If there is something you are passionate about, look to see what groups you can join and help them promote their cause. You’ll be happy you’re doing something you love and helping others – and you’ll meet many other people with the same interests as you.

Find a Sport: Maybe you like bowling or playing softball…whatever the sport is, find a local team or league you can join. You will make many new friends who you can start socializing with and get a little exercise too.

Find a club: Visit Meetup.com to see what groups and clubs around you are accepting new members and share similiar activities as you. Try to avoid “Singles” clubs, since while in theory they should work, a lot of pressure exists on the group. You will have much better results meeting with people who share your hobby where conversations will flow naturally.

The key is to remember you may not meet someone special from any of these activities, so be sure it is an activity you genuinely enjoy and can benefit from. The goal is not necessarily to meet someone at the activity, but to meet friends who introduce you to new friends who then introduce you to other friends…and hopefully eventually you’ll meet a friend you’d like to develop something more with.