However, there really are some fairly simple words and actions that create transformation. Especially if you are consistent with them. Try these:

1. Use specific and positive words to express appreciation for one another’s actions. Whenever possible, use character-related words that honor your spouse for such qualities as patience, helpfulness, courage, or kindness.
 
2. Create regular opportunities for fun, laughter, and positive experiences. These don’t have to be expensive to work well. A picnic? A walk? Sharing and laughing over the Sunday comics?

3. Figure out what communicates love to each other and do what is most important. Is it a gift? A hug? Listening to what’s happening in the other’s life?

4. Be observant and thoughtful with little things. Making a cup of coffee? Not rolling up the socks that go in the laundry basket? Pulling the weeds in the garden?

5. Do a chore that the other dislikes. Yes, even cleaning the toilet. Vacuuming? Changing light bulbs? Sweeping the sidewalk?

Sometimes marital transformation takes a long time. But you can definitely find ways to talk and act that make an immediate difference for your spouse and marriage. Consciously doing what opens and softens your spouse’s heart will benefit you both in the long-run and keep your marriage happier.

It’s easy to feel like it’s hopeless or you’re in that situation because you can’t control it. But why? Why do we feel that way? Why do we feel we should sacrifice our time, freedom, and happiness for the security of a steady paycheck or to meet the expectations of others?

Some of the best advice ever written was this: Do what you love – the money will follow.

And while doing what you absolutely love may not pay the bills exactly, it will help you feel better about life.

Our relationships are constantly affected by the things we do each and every single day. If you have a job that you hate, you most likely come home from work feeling like you don’t want to even talk to your partner, and that you need to just zone out in front of the TV to relax for awhile. Maybe stress from work makes you feel overly tired or quick to get upset – resulting in arguments that should have never happened in the first place.

When you love what you do however, there are some amazing differences. You may come home excited to tell your partner about what happened that day. You may be more productive at work. You wake up in the morning looking forward to all the world has to offer you.

Obviously, none of us can go through life without money or some type of work – but is there a rule saying you can’t have a job you love? Or live in a place you love? Or spend all of your free time doing things you love? Nope.

If you’re not doing what you love, here are some things to do to help get you started in the right direction:

Identify the Things You Like to Do: What are the things you enjoy the most? For some it is a creative outlet, such as writing or painting. For others it might be helping others. Some may love being with animals, others might enjoy mountain climbing or scuba diving. There are thousands of things to do and hobbies to pick from. Start off by making a list of 10 things you would do all the time if money was no object.

Identify What is Holding You Back: For many people it will be things like time or money. For others it may be a fear of failure or worrying about the approval of others. It’s okay to have obstacles – you just need to know what they are so you can work your way around them.

Brainstorm: Are there jobs available in the activities you enjoy the most? If you love scuba diving for example, you could consider becoming a scuba diver instructor. Love animals? Maybe you’re best suited to become a veterinarian, zoologist, or someone who works in preserving natural wildlife habitats.

Research: Chances are if you search online for “make money doing xyz” you’ll find something out there that will give you some ideas. Don’t be afraid to ask someone who is doing what they love how they did it and what steps they took to get started.

Make a Plan: It’s a lot easier to have a map when you get lost – and so having a plan is also a good idea. Maybe your plan would include researching jobs available, going back to school, or starting a savings fund to help you get on the right track.

You don’t have to be stuck going through life doing the things you don’t love to do. When you know what you want, and start planning to be able to do it, you’ll be amazed at what a difference it can make in your life and relationships!

When considering what types of things to bring to eat, you’ll want to make sure that they are foods that your partner likes – if it is one of their favorites they’ll likely be much happier with that than a bunch of exotic foods they won’t eat!

Here are some of our favorite picnic foods:

Fresh Strawberries: Strawberries are naturally romantic, being the color red and full of sweetness. You’ll likely get bonus points if they are chocolate covered!

Cheese and Crackers: For something that is easy to serve and to give your time together a bit of sophistication, cheese and crackers are a great way to go.

A Bottle of Wine: Make sure that the place you are going does not have any alcohol restrictions (such as a national or state park) – but in most cases packing along your favorite drink with a few wine glasses is a great way to add a little more romance – just don’t forget the wine opener! If wine is not your thing, it’s perfectly okay to bring one of your favorite beers or even a gallon of ice cold lemonade or iced tea.

Grilled Goodies: If you’re going someplace that has grills available and you’re a master of the barbecue, consider grilling up some classics like steaks or hamburgers if you both need a full meal.

Sandwiches: Lightweight, easy to make, and easy to clean up. Whether it’s peanut butter and jelly or a turkey sandwich is up to you.

Chocolate: Chocolate has always been a romantic food that can please just about anyone. A tip if you plan on packing chocolates for a picnic on a hot summer day is to freeze them ahead of time to make sure they don’t melt before you eat them!

Fresh Veggies: Not only do these make for great portable snacks, but they are healthy for you too! Pepper slices, cherry tomatoes, baby carrots, and celery are all good places to start.

Other Fresh Fruits: Beyond strawberries, you might want to include peaches, watermelon, grapes, apple slices, blueberries, or any others that are favorites.

Dessert: A good picnic always needs some dessert. Whether it’s a slice of cheesecake for you to share or a piece of pie, it’s a great way to end the meal on a sweet note.

Do you have any ideas for romantic picnic foods? Share them in the comments section below!

Rule #1: Don’t Post Potentially Embarrassing Things: This rule is for every time you feel inclined to write “Didn’t sleep a wink last night because hubby snored all night” or “Ew, just puked my guts out”. No one needs to know these things, and it doesn’t really give a good impression of yourself – or your mate.

Rule #2: Don’t Kiss and Tell: Not everyone wants that image of you and someone else doing anything slightly intimate together. Details are not necessary. Besides – that’s best kept between just the two of you.

Rule #3: Don’t Describe Your Life Together Minute By Minute: I have a friend who every single post is about her her boyfriend and what he is doing every minute of the day. “Made toast today for breakfast…with ♥Steve♥” is soon followed up 20 minutes later with “Watched the news…with ♥Steve♥”. It’s not a healthy obsession.

Rule #4: Don’t Get in Arguments Online: I also have friends who frequently fight with each other online. He posts: “Wife broke my computer” She posts: “I did not”. He posts: “Yes, you did”. She posts: Did not, you total jerk”. Does anyone really want to get in the middle of that? Or need to hear it? Keep the arguments offline.

Rule #5: Don’t Spend Too Much Time on Facebook: If you are spending hours of your day online on social networking sites, you may want to try taking some time away and doing something constructive for your relationship instead.

Rule #6: Don’t Dump Someone on Facebook: These days with social networking sites being the easiest and most nonconfrontational way to communicate with someone, it can be tempting to use it to break up with someone. But it’s not going to make it any easier, especially if your friends start chiming in to the conversation.

Rule #7: Consider the Audience: Some people will likely over analyze everything you write and make it into a very big ordeal when it really isn’t. This is especially true of in-laws, who may then cause grief for your partner over something you wrote.

Rule #8: Don’t Friend Exes: There is nothing worse to your partner than seeing you have exes in your friends list or commenting on your status updates. Exes should stay exes – and no matter how long it’s been or how far away they live, don’t be tempted to add them to your friends.

Rule #9: Know What Your Partner Deems Okay: Is your partner okay with you having 200+ friends of the opposite sex who you chat with online? If your partner’s not okay with it, you probably shouldn’t do it.

Rule #10: Make Sure Your Statuses Match: If you are married, you and your partner should both say you are married. If one of you has a single status, you have to wonder why.

Have any suggestions you’d like to add to our list of top 10 Facebook Etiquette Rules? What pet peeves do you have about Facebook and how does it affect your relationships?

Here are some of the things covered in the book:

*Choosing a dating site out of the thousands out there

*Tips for writing a profile that gets others to contact you

*How to get  good photographs for your profile

* What to write in an email to someone you are interested in

* 10 First Date Ideas for Meeting Someone Online (The best one costs less than a few dollars!)

* Making Relationships Last (Good suggestions for anyone in a new relationship!)

* Dating safety tips and how to protect your privacy

* A list of all the best online dating resources

It’s hard to believe we were able to pack so much information in just 19 pages! Taking just 5-10 minutes to read it today could do wonders in making dating online easier – not to mention save you a lot of time and money wasted on bad dates. Even if you’re not single you might find some great ideas for cheap dates and tips for making new relationships work – and of course you can always share it with someone you may know who would benefit from the tips inside this book.

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