However, there really are some fairly simple words and actions that create transformation. Especially if you are consistent with them. Try these:

1. Use specific and positive words to express appreciation for one another’s actions. Whenever possible, use character-related words that honor your spouse for such qualities as patience, helpfulness, courage, or kindness.
 
2. Create regular opportunities for fun, laughter, and positive experiences. These don’t have to be expensive to work well. A picnic? A walk? Sharing and laughing over the Sunday comics?

3. Figure out what communicates love to each other and do what is most important. Is it a gift? A hug? Listening to what’s happening in the other’s life?

4. Be observant and thoughtful with little things. Making a cup of coffee? Not rolling up the socks that go in the laundry basket? Pulling the weeds in the garden?

5. Do a chore that the other dislikes. Yes, even cleaning the toilet. Vacuuming? Changing light bulbs? Sweeping the sidewalk?

Sometimes marital transformation takes a long time. But you can definitely find ways to talk and act that make an immediate difference for your spouse and marriage. Consciously doing what opens and softens your spouse’s heart will benefit you both in the long-run and keep your marriage happier.

Rule #1: Don’t Post Potentially Embarrassing Things: This rule is for every time you feel inclined to write “Didn’t sleep a wink last night because hubby snored all night” or “Ew, just puked my guts out”. No one needs to know these things, and it doesn’t really give a good impression of yourself – or your mate.

Rule #2: Don’t Kiss and Tell: Not everyone wants that image of you and someone else doing anything slightly intimate together. Details are not necessary. Besides – that’s best kept between just the two of you.

Rule #3: Don’t Describe Your Life Together Minute By Minute: I have a friend who every single post is about her her boyfriend and what he is doing every minute of the day. “Made toast today for breakfast…with ♥Steve♥” is soon followed up 20 minutes later with “Watched the news…with ♥Steve♥”. It’s not a healthy obsession.

Rule #4: Don’t Get in Arguments Online: I also have friends who frequently fight with each other online. He posts: “Wife broke my computer” She posts: “I did not”. He posts: “Yes, you did”. She posts: Did not, you total jerk”. Does anyone really want to get in the middle of that? Or need to hear it? Keep the arguments offline.

Rule #5: Don’t Spend Too Much Time on Facebook: If you are spending hours of your day online on social networking sites, you may want to try taking some time away and doing something constructive for your relationship instead.

Rule #6: Don’t Dump Someone on Facebook: These days with social networking sites being the easiest and most nonconfrontational way to communicate with someone, it can be tempting to use it to break up with someone. But it’s not going to make it any easier, especially if your friends start chiming in to the conversation.

Rule #7: Consider the Audience: Some people will likely over analyze everything you write and make it into a very big ordeal when it really isn’t. This is especially true of in-laws, who may then cause grief for your partner over something you wrote.

Rule #8: Don’t Friend Exes: There is nothing worse to your partner than seeing you have exes in your friends list or commenting on your status updates. Exes should stay exes – and no matter how long it’s been or how far away they live, don’t be tempted to add them to your friends.

Rule #9: Know What Your Partner Deems Okay: Is your partner okay with you having 200+ friends of the opposite sex who you chat with online? If your partner’s not okay with it, you probably shouldn’t do it.

Rule #10: Make Sure Your Statuses Match: If you are married, you and your partner should both say you are married. If one of you has a single status, you have to wonder why.

Have any suggestions you’d like to add to our list of top 10 Facebook Etiquette Rules? What pet peeves do you have about Facebook and how does it affect your relationships?

In case you missed it last week, Denee King posted her article Sunday School: Spirituality and Relationships on her blog SheJustGotMarried.com, which is just one of the many extraordinary articles in the Love Everyday ebook. If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, what are you waiting for?

Right Click on This Link and Select Download – it really is 100% free.

This week I’ll be sharing the excerpt I contributed, which is titled “Grocery Shopping” and is all about what a difference the foods you eat can make with your relationship. A lot of people have asked me about the diet I follow, so if you’re interested in that, make sure you head over and sign up for my free diet ebook, too.

Grocery Shopping: Feeding Your Relationship

Most people wouldn’t think that grocery shopping or the foods you buy have much impact on your relationship. While you don’t hear much about an apple a day keeping the divorce attorney away, eating the right food can give you more energy, feel less stressed, and even improve intimacy. The wrong foods can result in weight gain, stress, lack of energy, decreased libido, and a number of other physical and emotional effects that can strain your relationship. Think about it:

When you’re in a bad mood, have no energy, and feel sick, how loving do you feel towards your partner?

Everything we eat affects our body and our mind. Foods high in sugar for example change our blood glucose level, which can cause sugar cravings, energy crashes, and crankiness as our body fights to get it back in check. Our brains depend on fat to function properly, but most of us don’t get enough “good fat” – only lots of bad hydrogenated fat that is bad for your brain and your heart. Our body also depends on many different vitamins and minerals to perform at its best, which most of us are lacking.

All of us know we should try to eat healthier—but that’s not always what we do. Temptation is everywhere, and to make it even more difficult, we don’t always get the support we need to make healthy food choices. It’s not uncommon for one partner wanting to make the change for a healthier and happier lifestyle, while the other partner may not.

Where can you start if you want to eat healthier? It’s not as hard as it seems. Often just eating fruits and veggies at every meal and switching to organic and preservative-free foods can make a huge difference. Go for variety, make it fun— before you know it you might just lose those extra pounds, and you’ll definitely feel great.

Here are 5 ideas to help feed your relationship:

1. Go to a New Store: There’s no rule stating you need to go to the same store every week. Go on an adventure! If your relationship is stuck in the same routine, doing the same thing isn’t going to change anything! A farmer’s market or specialty shop might just be the ticket.

2. Take a Break: Getting a quick coffee or juice together before shopping is a great way for two busy people to take a break and talk.

3. Leave the Kids at Home: Make it a “productive date” rather than another chore or errand. You’ll be less rushed and more focused, too.

4. Make it Sensual: Grocery shopping is full of tastes, sights, and smells. Stop to smell the produce, taste samples, and enjoy it.

5. Cook Together: After you have everything and are back at home, try cooking dinner together for a change. If your cooking skills aren’t the greatest, consider taking a class together to learn something new.

If you want to have a better relationship, you’ve got to take care of yourself. Marriage is between the mind, body, and souls of two people. Take care of your bodies, and the rest often naturally falls into place. A healthier and happier relationship might be no farther than your local grocery store.

Did you enjoy this article? Make sure you get your copy of Love Everyday by right clicking here and don’t forget to also check out next week’s chapter by Alisa Bowman at Project Happily Ever After.

Marriage is not like a toaster you can easily replace.

All too often, marriages are undervalued.  When a marriage is broken, separation and divorce seem like a solution.  But a marriage is not a toaster you can replace with a new one for $19.99. Most marriages are irreplaceable – something rare and handmade in a world of disposable electronics. Marriages are not something mass produced that you can find at your local retail store. They are usually something lovingly handcrafted, with much energy and time put into them. When you throw away your marriage, you’re not just ending a relationship – you’re losing all of the time and energy you’ve already invested into it. These are just some of the reasons to reconcile a marriage.

One of the most popular resources available online for reconciling your marriage (or any relationship for that matter) is The Magic of Making Up. It’s a step by step guide on getting your relationship back on track, whether divorced, separated, or just on the verge of breaking up – even if your partner isn’t talking to you.

When you see your marriage as an investment, and as something worth saving, it only makes sense to invest in something to help you get it back on track. If a light bulb is burnt out, you don’t throw away the lamp – you just need to buy another light bulb. If you think of the various self help programs out there or even marriage counseling as a light bulb, it’s an investment that will bring much light into your relationship for many more years to come. No new light bulb, and you might as well throw away the lamp and your relationship.

We usually associate the word reconcile with forgiveness and apologizing – but it goes much deeper than just that. Reconcile also means to bring two things closer together once again, it means to resolve, and it means acceptance. If you want to get everything back to its right place, you need more than just an apology. The Magic of Making Up teaches why apologies, promising to change, and begging for a second chance DON’T work – and instead teaches you the important principles of reconciliation that DO work.

If you want to reconcile your relationship you need to do these things:

Resolve and Settle Relationship Problems: Resolving problems for most couples is the hardest part, especially if it only escalates into fighting and more problems. To fix your marriage, you need a clean slate, which means resolving, settling, and letting go of all of the things driving you apart.

Bring Yourself to Acceptance: No one is perfect, we all have flaws. Your husband or your wife is not the latest and greatest Spouse-O-Matic 3000. You can’t control or change your partner – but you can change your own actions.

Become Close Again: Reconnecting is probably the hardest part. How do two people barely speaking to one another fall back in love? It can be done however, when you are willing to try positive interactions to get back the bond you once had.

Be Consistent: It’s not going to do either of you any good to fix something for a short term period. Once you figure out the way to resolve your problems and become close again, you need to keep doing those things in order to stay happy.

If you’re asking yourself if separated couples can reconcile, the answer is yes! There are many ways to reconcile after a divorce or separation. Your marriage does not need to go out to the curb. You can recoup all of the energy, time, and resources to get it all back. Don’t throw out a perfectly good lamp when all you need is a new light bulb! When you understand the true meaning of what it means to reconcile with your spouse, you’re on your way to getting everything back to the way it should be for a happier and healthier relationship.

Click Here for The Magic of Making Up

Crazy Reasons to Get Married

1. You hear your biological clock ticking.
2. Your prospective bride/groom is totally hot.
3. Your prospective bride/groom is filthy rich.
4. All your friends are married, and it seems like the thing to do.
5. It will be good for your career.
6. It seems like the next stage of life you should enter.
7. Your parents think you should get married.
8. You’re afraid you can’t do any better.
9. You think your partner can make you happy.
10. You have the perfect life planned out with him/her.

10 Better Reasons to Marry

1. You can’t imagine spending your days or nights apart from your fiancé.
2. You find your mate interesting, compatible and kind.
3. You want to have children together, and you know marriage improves family stability.
4. You have similar values and life goals.
5. You respect and celebrate your differences.
6. You feel like the luckiest person in the world to have found your mate.
7. You are committed to a lifetime of seeking to please one another.
8. You are confident you can overcome any hardship together.
9. You know each other so well that you are happier and more effective as a couple than alone.
10. You’ve shared your deepest flaws and pain, and love each other anyway.

What do you think? What are some of the craziest or best reasons to get married you can think of? Share them in the comments section below.