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Relationships Break up:

December 14, 2012

As wonderful it is to make and develop a relationship it is that hard and bitter when it breaks. The heartaches are hard to bear and sometimes coping with normal life poses to be a problem.

Consider the other side: It takes two to make or break a relationship. So while you think of the happy times also think of the bitterness you shared lately. When the two perspectives become very different do they start affecting a relationship…even if you want to hold on, your partner has to feel that way? Be rational when lamenting over the spilt milk.

Acceptance is the best choice: There is a memory that will constantly throw good and bad parts of your past life. These may even make you unsure of the present status, but after you have broken up give it a good thought whether you can live with the differences happily. Rosy memories do not mean anything.

Keep away: There are some relationships better ended and done with than have a faint connection. Surely you cannot be an acquaintance to the one you love, so it is better to keep a space and not try to get in touch to be casual friends. Old memories may cause harm disturbing you when making such connections.

Handling the pain: It will be hard to bear the sorrow and pain of loneliness. After all when you share yourself with some you gave away a bit of yourself…cherish those times and do not rubbish them. Distract yourself being busy with work and meeting other friends and relatives you neglecting probably.

Get out of the guilt trip: There is nothing to feel guilty about a break. You liked your partner and had some common perspectives and shared a life. People change and move away… it happens with best of couple. Do not go on a guilt trip thinking you are the cause. It takes two to tango…understand that.

Anger management: There are times when there will be bitter throw of words and emotions to hurt each other. Initially you would not want to miss a single chance of doing that. Control yourself then. You pain will not be less if you do that. Instead the good moments that are with you may slip away.

Socialize and keep busy: For a while the emptiness kills you. It is hard to deal with it immediately after a break up. This is the time you need to divert your mind. Distract yourself so much so that you are unmindful of what happened. Meet old buddies and relatives who long to see you, it will give you a sense of love and care.

Noting your thoughts:  Retrospection is good. It helps you understand yourself better.  Note down your thoughts and feelings which you can read at a later date and feel the pain or cherish memories. Also you feel lighter when you write down your thoughts. It is a kind of self sharing that helps.

You have to move on to another new life that is waiting for you. Stop lamenting and embrace the new with enthusiasm and zeal.

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