Gamophobia, the fear of marriage, was an obsolete word some 30 years back. In the present scenario, when the young couples have become a habitué of divorce, the fear of marriage has become quite evident. Of course love is still there, so what exactly happens that people are afraid of getting married. Marriage is an institution that requires unfaltering commitment and faith, but the young generation has failed miserably to perform. With good counseling and understanding this fear can be defeated, and the monumental decision of getting married can be taken with ease.
1) Identify the fear: The foremost step is to understand yourself and determine the exact dilemma you are facing. Most of the people are afraid of the consequent failure of marriage, not marriage itself. Then there are also commitment phobic, who consider marriage as an imprisonment. So it’s better to understand the fear before curing it.
2) Know the reasons: It is natural human tendency to learn by experience. Children whose childhood was stained by the failed marriage of their parents are the most common victim of this problem. Many of us are afraid of the intimacy with the opposite sex; poor body image can be one of the reasons for this. Fear of sex is also an important aspect of gamophobia.
3) Defeat the fears: One must be mature enough to understand that your parent’s failed marriage is no guarantee to your marriage. Marriages fail because people fall out of it, they give up on each other. You can even learn from your parent’s divorce, try not to commit the same mistakes they did. It is better to evaluate the fears beforehand, list out different situations you may face and work out on how to react in those situations
4) Talking helps: Relationships rely on communication. . Talk to your fiancé about your fears, it helps them to understand you better and also gives them an idea of what they might be facing in the near future. If you are not able to talk freely about these issues to your fiancé, then may be that problem needs to be sorted out first. You can also talk to experts regarding this. If yours is a case of low self confidence, then they can definitely help.
5) Nothing is perfect: A relationship can never be perfect. No one is perfect, neither you nor your partner. If you are expecting each and every day of your married life to be sugar coated romantic then you are cozened. There will be kinks, and you have to work hard to straighten it. Make yourself understand that filing a divorce is not an option. When the going gets tougher all you have to do is hold hands and work through it.
6) Planning: Plan your life ahead. Discuss your dreams and aspiration with your partner. Matters like children, money, where you want to get settled are needed to be attended before marriage. Talk over what you expect from your marriage and your spouse, discuss your limits.
7) Sexual compatibility: Talk over about sex with your partner, what they expect or not.
Marriage surely needs some tender loving care, but with some efforts in the right direction one can easily attain their happily ever after.