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How to deal with intimacy matters

October 4, 2012
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A relationship goes on over a number of fronts. On one front, there is emotional interdependency. You both form an integral part of your lives and you share your joys and sorrows. You are emotionally dependent on each other, and you support and care for each other. You are with them in times of need, and they are with you as well. The emotional interdependency is something that, without which a relationship is not possible, at least a love relationship, because this is what love truly stands for.

Another front, which is also a part of many a relationships and is important for a healthy, long lasting relationship is the physical intimacy part. Emotional interdependency satisfies a lot of desires of the human mind. Likewise, physical intimacy also satisfies a lot of cravings of the human mind. More importantly, it gives you a window where you can show your love, where you can vent the overwhelming feelings that have been built up in you. A few moments of intense passion can help relax and at the same time convey our love for our partners. It helps in inexplicable ways, and certainly makes your relationship bond stronger and better.

The most important thing about intimacy matters it to initiate one. There are a lot of people who have never been in any intimate situation just because they cannot talk about it, or they don’t know how to start it all. It is important to break the ice in the situation, so that things can actually move forward. You can try a few things there. First, you can just wait for it to come naturally. Over the course of relationships, things will get cozy eventually, either on the phone or in person. You will get closer to each other, and that physical barrier would look like disappearing. You can then meet in person, and slowly things progress. From catching hands, to hugs, and then the little kisses, intimacy starts increasing more and more. That is the natural way of things happening, and that is what happens in a number of relationships. The small intimacies happen after special days such as dates, days when you go out, and then slowly you can start planning such intimacies after a few days.

In another scenario, where the other person is always avoiding such things and is very reluctant, it is important to talk it out first. There has to be a story behind the person’s unwillingness, and you need to build up trust before the person will tell you the story. Some might be very scared, some apprehensive. It is important to talk it out, and then proceed. If the other person is not comfortable at the current time, then it is important not to force them.
Talking eases out things, and it will tell you your boundaries of what you can do in terms of intimacy. Once such a conversation takes place, and such boundaries set, it will ease out things. You can then plan out such stuff, and then have intimate moments without feeling any guilt whatsoever.

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