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Tips on How to Avoid Codependent Relationships

September 5, 2012

Relationships generally demand the sharing of love and affection, this giving and taking of love and affection may take many forms. While some people consider, sharing of emotions, secrets, happiness and sorrows with their mate a form of sharing love, some might even consider the aspect of giving and taking gifts or any other such materialistic stuff as a better way to express love. This results in a codependent relationship.

In layman terms, a codependent relationship is said to be a kind of relationship when one does or gives something to his/her partner in the expectation of getting back something. Thus a relationship gets bankrupt when one tries to make a relationship work by expecting things from the other person.

One can avoid becoming codependent in the following ways:

1)      Give your best to your relationship without expecting anything in return:

The best form of love can be said to an unconditional love. You should always try to love your partner, without expecting anything in return. This includes spending time, sending gifts, appreciating your relationship without expecting much. It is completely up to your partner to reciprocate your feelings. However, this doesn’t mean that you should sacrifice your life for that person. Give what you can give freely without any kind of resentment.

2)      Get counseling:

Take advice from your immediate friends and relatives and address your problems. Their advice should be completely unbiased. Sharing your burden with someone certainly lessens it. Listen to them and act in a right manner. Ask them what to do and what not in that situation.

3)      Develop an idea of personal boundaries and pertain to yours:

The best way to pertain to your personal boundary is to have a complete understanding of it. Analyze your personal boundaries and make sure that you don’t infringe upon your partner’s boundaries or neither does your partner. If you get angry, analyze why you are angry and who is actually responsible for this and then take any action. Sometimes a compromise is mostly appreciated.

4)      Do not insult your partner:

If you feel that your partner is not living up to your expectations and thus the relationship is going down the gutters, you shouldn’t go crazy and hurl abuses on your partner. Instead you can make your understand your problems and ask them to try to reciprocate your love.

5)      Look out for reasons behind your partner not reciprocating your love:

It may so happen that your partner is no more interested in you or finds you boring and is thus devoting less time for you. All you have to do is make such type of doubts clarified by holding talks with your partner and thus ask your partner to lay out your faults so that you can improve yourself in that aspect.

6)      Ensure that you aren’t controlling your partner’s life:

Sometimes it may so happen that each and every argument between you and your partner goes out in your favor and you try to gain authority and prove that your partner is responsible for all the wrong doings, although you are responsible. This aggravates a relationship and thus poses many problems in the future.



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