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How to stop worrying too much about a relationship

September 3, 2012
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It is certainly a great thing to be in a relationship, especially because of all the surprises and joys it brings into our lives. We spend our days feeling happy and self satisfied and our confidence is high as well. We enjoy being living with another person, talking with them all the time, and being dependent on them.  We enjoy being trusted and depended upon as well. It is really pleasant to go out on outings with our loved ones and spend quality time together.
In certain cases, all this love and affection can turn out into a form of obsession. This obsession is pretty dangerous because it takes away the freedom of the other person. We tend to impose ourselves on the relationship and on the other person as well, and hence the other person loves all the love and affection towards the changed person in us. Even though we cannot be blamed of doing something with malice or bad intent, this particular obsessive quality of a person causes a huge amount of problems in a relationship. Efforts must be made by the parties to check this particular trait to allow the relationship to continue peacefully.

The first step is to actually recognize when the person is being obsessive. It may be difficult to realize, because not many of us involve in self reflection very often. If there are a number of problems that are recurring in the relationship, then one should take some time to reflect on the relationship. If one is being over possessive, or over jealous or obsessive, then one should accept that they have to change it.

The second step is to actually incorporate the changes into your life. It is important to understand that due to such possessiveness and obsession, a lot of problems are being caused to the partner, and he should be allowed to be free. People who have been cheated upon in a relationship earlier have this tendency as well. They should realize that they should not punish another person for the mistake that one has committed. Hence, it is important to not be very possessive, and make all efforts to change our mentality.

The third step is to change our behaviour according to this mentality. One tends to be constantly calling their partner, asking them about their whereabouts, turning up unexpectedly at certain events and asking them who they talk to. This can be extremely irritating for the other partner, and intrudes upon their privacy. Also, it shows the partner that you don’t trust them entirely. This can have far reaching consequences, and its effects can be felt the next time there is a problem or a misunderstanding.

Hence, it is important to let the partner be as they are. A nice way of looking at things is acceptance of the fact that if the partner decides to cheat on the relationship, it is entirely their loss since they won’t find anyone like you ever again. Also, one should get used to the fact that such constant nagging may be detrimental to the relationship.

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