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Unhappy Marriages and What to do about them

August 28, 2012

A marriage is a sign of a fairly strong relationship, since it signifies that the relationship has survived through thick and thin and has transformed into marriage. The persons entering the institution of marriage wouldn’t decide to do so in an instant. Getting married after only a few days of a relationship is never recommended, because it takes time to understand each other well. Only with improved understanding do things such as compatibility improve, and the more time you spend with a person, the more you get to know them.

Sometimes, even after being in a strong and good relationship, things change after marriage. The reason behind this is that after marriage, the entire circumstances of the people change. Before marriage, it is possible that people live in their respective homes, follow a carefree lifestyle and spend a lot of time with their partners. But once people get married, a huge amount of responsibility comes crashing down upon the person and they are forced to lead a much changed lifestyle. After marriage, the partners live with each other in the same house, and are exposed to a lot of things about each other that may be unknown of. There may be certain bad habits about the partners that the other may not be very comfortable about, and they cause issues. Suppose, for example, partner X used to lead a very hygienic lifestyle before marriage and after marriage she has to put up with certain unhygienic habits of Y partner, and she might get fussy about it. These are certain things that cause a lot of problems in a relationship, and may lead to frequent quarrels.

Certain other things may arise as well, such as money related issues. Before marriage, the partners had their own independent finances, but after marriage they need to have a consolidated fund for certain things such as house rent, electricity, etc. These may lead to further complications if the money issue is not addressed well.
Hence, there are two important things that partners should do after marriage – talk and understand. One should talk about all the issues and clear them, before they wreak havoc in your marriage life. It is really important to regularly sit down and talk about all issues that are bothering you, and people should not take it as a compromise. It should be taken as an exercise to improve the love between the partners. They should spell out the problems they are facing in the house and the bad habits of each other that they do not like, and hence both should try to change things about themselves.

The second solution is to understand the partner better. It can happen only with a conscious effort. People should try to be open and understand that everybody is different and they need not be all similar to us and how we lead our life. There are certain compromises that need to be made in every relationship and something such as marriage requires a lot of effort on behalf of both the partners. It brings with it a lot of joy and pleasantness, and hence we should be able to bear with and reduce the unpleasant things as well.

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