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When to understand that you should move on

August 1, 2012
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A relationship is truly a wonderful thing, we all would agree. We all love to have a partner who listens to us, with whom we spend our time, on whom we’re dependent, and so on. It’s a wonderful feeling to be in love. At the same time, separation is a terrible thing indeed. But what is worse than separation is to hang on in a relationship that has nothing left for you. It’ll keep you very unhappy and is very unhealthy. You will feel as if you’re chained in a relationship and you really want to escape it all. You might feel guilty about all the numerous fights that might take place, and the unhappiness you cause to each other. Hence, it is important to move on at the right time, so that you can avoid the unpleasantness.

Stages in a Relationship

In a relationship, initially people tend to be very accommodating and pleasant. But, when the wonderful feeling of a new love is gone, and people become very familiar with each other, they turn back into becoming the people they really are. It is in this phase that most breakups take place, since it happens many a time that you’re actually in love with the person that he/she pretended to be and not the original person. That said, it cannot be said that the pretention was dishonest or malicious. It is all a part of a natural process, and either party cannot be blamed. The process that we talked about above is not a uniform one. It may happen with some, and may not happen with some others. It may take a shorter time for some people, while a longer time for some others. True love, we believe is when even after years passing by, you people still love each other, and everything about each other as much as you used to initially. You feel comfortable and secure with them. But all dating is not true love, and a very small fraction of people who date eventually end up in love.

Signs you should move on:

  1. You don’t feel the same way about each other as you used to before. It is common with a lot of people after quite some time in a relationship. You don’t talk to each other as often, or with that kind of enthusiasm as you used to before. You don’t think of each other the whole day, and it seems the other person is losing importance in your life. It is natural that the initial excitement of a relationship would eventually die down, but if that person doesn’t hold as much value for you, then its a bad sign. You can then decide whether you want to have her in your life forever or to end the relationship.
  2. You are very attracted to somebody else, or your partner is. If this is the case, you should immediately split, because what happens afterwards is traumatic. Fights, insecurity, more fights, more insecurity and all the bad things associated with love. There is a simple reasoning I apply here.  The reason is – If you would have truly loved (or wanted to be in a relationship with one person for a longer period), you would have never fallen for the other person. Ofcourse, everybody has crushes on film stars and the like, but we’re talking in practical terms here. The ‘other’ person refers to somebody in your life, a friend, a colleague or something similar.
  3. The person turned out to be somebody you didn’t think he was. In this case, there may be compatibility issues. While pondering over the issue of whether to get into a relationship, you may have liked certain things about a man. But if you suddenly realize that the person isn’t the same person you thought he was, then it would be like dating somebody you don’t know at all, or never wanted to date.

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