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Settling Down or Just Settling?

June 25, 2012
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Settling Down or Just Settling?

My friend is getting married this month, she is a June bride; very traditional… which is unlike her. We recently talked about it and I told her that I never pictured her as wanting to get married. Throughout our childhoods, she was a tomboy and she also had to grow up very fast which made her into a very independent person. This is the main reason I never thought she would want to get married, simply because she always used to say how she never needed or wanted a man to do anything for her and just the kind of person she was, growing up, and even now.

But now she’s getting married. While she and I were talking about this she told me that she’d been in her current relationship for about 5 years now and that she thought it was finally time to settle down. Settle down? That’s not her. The entire time we were holding this conversation, I was thinking, “Settle down? But you are outgoing and wild, how are you going to settle down? Not to mention your relationship has been off and on for about 5 years now, that’s a little bit hard to handle when you’re married. I’m not saying that I am not happy for her. I will support whatever path she thinks is right for her life, and I’m behind her 100%. But the whole idea of my rebellious, wild-child, tomboy friend getting married and “setting down” has me thinking: is she just settling?

If you believe in the idea of getting married, do not settle. Make sure that the person you decide on is the right person to spend the rest of your life with. At this point in my life, I am beginning to not believe in marriage. But if I did, I would believe in being married only one time. Divorce is an altogether different topic, but I have grown up knowing that I do not believe in that. I have 2 families because of divorce. What I am saying is, do not think that you have to get married simply because your current relationship has lasted 5 or more years. Do not settle just for the sake of settling.

I am concerned for my friend. I do not wish or want her to be unhappy a year or so down the road. But I really do not know anything about this guy, so I have no right to advise her not to make this big of a leap. The marriage could even last forever, but based on the fact that they have broken up and gotten back together over the course of this entire relationship is making me wonder.

I hope that whoever is reading this has been thinking about what I am saying. I, personally, may not believe in marriage but if you do, just be smart about it. Regardless of the length of the relationship, just consider marrying the man you are with now. Would you be settling down or just settling?

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