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Cheating in a Relationship

June 5, 2012

Cheating in a Relationship

Have you ever wondered why people cheat on their partners? I think part of it has to do with TV shows and movies portraying love and relationships as fairy tale happenings. It starts at a very young age and with that ingrained in people’s minds, they go into relationships expecting the impossible. Nothing happens like it does in the movies.
The number one reason it is said that people cheat on their partners is that they are unhappy at home. This thought is basically a myth for men. Women are said to be unsatisfied with their long term relationships at home more often than men. If a man is offered a little somethin’ somethin’ on the side, even though he is happy with his love life at home, it is unlikely that he will turn that kind of opportunity down. I recently came across a very interesting study involving unfaithful people where 56% of men said they had very happy marriages, but only 34% of women agreed with those men. Isn’t that interesting?
Number two on this list, which people hear much more than anything else is that men cheat a lot more often than women. I will admit that this didn’t used to be a myth, however, but now women are starting to cheat more often and they do it for the same reasons as men. It is fun. It’s something new and it adds a bit of “naughty” to your personality. They also see it as a reward for being ‘unappreciated’ in an unhappy relationship. It is also not true that it’s simply men that try to create affairs from friendships. I just find this all very fascinating.
Who came up with the crazy idea that fantasizing about someone else while you are in a relationship means that you are about to be unfaithful? No. No, no, no. If you leave the fantasy in your head and don’t bring it to the bed, then you are not cheating. Many relationship coaches will even encourage couples to think about and fantasize situations with others in order to cope with outside temptation. Some may say that this is risky behavior simply for the fact that if you fantasize, you might seek out the real thing. But, in accordance to what I was saying earlier, relationships in real life are almost never like they are in your mind.
The last big myth about cheating, which I have found more engaging than anything else I have read, is that if he or she cheats on you then that surely means they no longer love you. I could have told you this one without even having to have read about it. It may feel like your partner no longer loves you if they cheat, but it does mean that your partner does not hold the same respect for your committed relationship as you. Usually, the ones that cheat are capable of separating feelings of love from a physical togetherness, thus having an affair does not affect their love for you.

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