However, there really are some fairly simple words and actions that create transformation. Especially if you are consistent with them. Try these:
1. Use specific and positive words to express appreciation for one anotherâ€™s actions. Whenever possible, use character-related words that honor your spouse for such qualities as patience, helpfulness, courage, or kindness.
2. Create regular opportunities for fun, laughter, and positive experiences. These donâ€™t have to be expensive to work well. A picnic? A walk? Sharing and laughing over the Sunday comics?
3. Figure out what communicates love to each other and do what is most important. Is it a gift? A hug? Listening to whatâ€™s happening in the otherâ€™s life?
4. Be observant and thoughtful with little things. Making a cup of coffee? Not rolling up the socks that go in the laundry basket? Pulling the weeds in the garden?
5. Do a chore that the other dislikes. Yes, even cleaning the toilet. Vacuuming? Changing light bulbs? Sweeping the sidewalk?
Sometimes marital transformation takes a long time. But you can definitely find ways to talk and act that make an immediate difference for your spouse and marriage. Consciously doing what opens and softens your spouseâ€™s heart will benefit you both in the long-run and keep your marriage happier.