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Understanding the Opposite Sex: Love Talk Movie

January 7, 2010
By

LoveTalk DVDWhile it doesn’t seem like it would be that difficult – understanding the opposite sex is something men and women alike have battled with for years.

Even those of us who “get it” that men and women think and communicate differently, it can still be tough to really understand what motivates our partner or what would cause them to react in a certain way to a situation.

Recently, I had a great opportunity to have a sneak preview of a relationship documentary called LoveTalk that answers all of these questions and more as to how men and women are so different. I’m also really excited that I had the chance to bounce off a few questions to the film’s producer, Trudy Sargent who also worked on the films Road to Damascus and Are You Ready for Love?, a romantic comedy which won six awards at Monaco Film Festival and was released by Sony Pictures Classics last year on Valentine’s Day – reaching number 7 at the UK DVD Chart.

The LoveTalk film features many different voices on how to succeed in love, ranging from well known authors such as John Gray to relationship experts Susan Campbell, Tina Tessina, and Leonard Felder. Divorce attorney Vanessa Lloyd-Platt is featured as well as those who know best: Frank & Anita Milford, the world’s longest married couple.

There are many others featured in the film, and all of them have very interesting things to say about why we are attracted to who we are, how couples evolve, and how understanding the differences between men and women can make your relationship much easier and happier. I was surprised while watching it my husband there were actually quite a few topics touched on that my husband and I never even really thought about or discussed in great detail before.

Below I’d like to share with you the short interview questions I asked Trudy and her responses:

What was the inspiration behind LoveTalkMovie? Why make a documentary about relationships?

In 2007 I attended “Date with Destiny”, in Palm Springs, a six day event with Tony Robbins and on the third day, the relationship day, I was transformed… Finally I had all the answers to my relationship problems! I was so inspired to share what I learnt in that day, in that moment I knew I wanted to make a documentary and share that knowledge with the world!
Five years previously, my six year marriage ended for reasons I wasn’t able to comprehend then but after understanding how the masculine and feminine dynamics work in a relationship, I had the answers right in front of me!

What do you find to be the most interesting points in the movie?

There are a few interesting points. First of all, the whole concept of polarity, masculine and feminine – in Peta Heskell’s words, “women have become very aggressive, masculine and men are confused because they don’t know what to do”… what has worked in the past for our parents or grandparents might not necessarily work now, so it’s really important to be aware of how we behave when we are in relationships. We women sometimes feel threatened by our feminine energy… We have high-powered jobs, running entire households, even know how to change tyres or use an electric drill, yes, at work we are assertive, focused and decisive but in a relationship, we need to relax and let that beautiful feminine energy come out, we need to find the goddess within!

Second point is communication – John Gray is the master of explaining why we need to understand how we communicate with our partner is vital for our relationship. We have a large sequence on communication – and the sooner we know what men and women want in relationships, the easier is to build a long-lasting relationship. Now, I’ve become more aware of the words I use and I’ve stopped questioning and interviewing men that I date!

What was the filming process like?

Straight after the event, I went to my office and we compiled a list of people we wanted to interview… our list came up to around 30 people, amazingly, 25 people on the list said “Yes”!
We filmed in London, New York, Los Angeles, Seattle and San Francisco. It was an incredible experience to say the least! Interviewing Mr. Gray in the house where he wrote the classic “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, we felt we were in a museum, part of the history somehow! Everyone was really amazing! Very generous! Rabbi Deyo, the Speed-dating creator spent with us over 2 hours explaining how the whole speed-dating movement started! Steve Nakamoto’s interview was the longest – over 3 hours! We have over 35 hours of footage so it was a challenging time trying to edit into a 90 minute film! Our editor was Kant Pan, Oscar nominated editor of “The Crying Game”.

We edited the film in London and it took us over 6 months! It was tough because all the content was really good!

Who do you think would benefit the most from watching this movie?

Originally my intention was to make a film where I would explain why we love, why we need to be in a relationship, why men and women are different, understanding those differences, embracing those differences – I wanted to help all my cynical single friends! I am a romantic at heart and after doing a lot of research on dating, I realised that we forgot how to date… we go on dates like we go to job interviews… So I wanted to inspire single people to look for love again, to have fun and not to take themselves too seriously!

In filmmaking, we have a saying, “there are three movies, the movie you write, the movie you shoot and the movie you edit…” Now, after the final edit, the film turned out to be liked not only by singles, but also by couples who look at their partner with a whole new understanding. So we are really pleased!

Is there anything else you’d like to share with IMBL readers about the movie?

My favourite sequence is:
“One of the key things that we need to get is what we’ve been taught is wrong – what we’ve been taught is to develop a series of masks that will present ourselves to the world in a way that we think other people want to see us – when actually what we should be taught is how to present ourselves as we are – and too many of us spend way too much time doing, doing, doing, making masks, creating a form that we think other people would like, where we could be spending a lot more time focusing on just being and giving up trying to be something we are not.”

Be true to yourself! Be happy!

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Thank you so much Trudy for the interview and the preview of the movie! It’s certainly one I recommend for anyone who has struggled with understanding the opposite sex, as well as for the many professionals out there specializing in writing about or helping couples work through problems in relationships. Being able to sit down, almost “face to face” with so many individuals and relationship experts is an amazing experience that is unlike reading all of the books out there. If you’d like to learn more about it, as well as preview a few scenes, visit LoveTalkMovie.com.

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I am married to the funniest guy in the world, mom of some cute crazy kids, and write mostly from my own experiences in love and relationships.

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