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I grew up thinking that Thanksgiving was mostly about food, family and football.  After years of eating too much, and sitting in front of the TV most of the afternoon (sleeping), my wife and I decided to try something new.  This particular Thanksgiving in New Orleans was wet, cold and gross. New Orleans roads cover over with just the slightest rain, so there seemed to be rivers running through the streets. We had volunteered to take Thanksgiving meals to older folks who didn’t have family, or couldn’t travel for the holiday.

Bundled up with layers of clothes,  my wife and I, along with another couple from the radio station where I worked, ventured to the volunteer building where we stocked up on “to go” plates filled with turkey, stuffing, corn, mashed potatoes and gravy.  We loaded them into the back of our SUV. Needless to say, the car smelled really good.

We looked at the map, decided our plan of action, and headed into the rain to deliver meals.  My wife and I would go to a door and knock, sometimes the other couple, one time just the girls, one time the guys.  We made several stops in nearby neighborhoods, and when we made it to the last neighborhood on our list, we were forced to stop due to a huge tree limb that had fallen in the road.  I hopped out of the car with my wife and we moved the soaked limb out of the road and continued to our destination.

I remember the people we met that day. One older lady was living in a home with dirt floors.  She warmly welcomed the company. One older lady asked for our picture, and another believed no one would come, due to the weather.

We still remember and talk about that Thanksgiving. Because of the day, because of the time we spent together, because of the chunk-o-tree that had fallen in the road, and because we made a small, itty-bitty difference in the lives of a handful of people whose names we don’t know.

We didn’t think about how profoundly serving others could teach us about serving each other.

Serving your Spouse Everyday

Marriage isn’t easy. If you think that marriage is ‘I’m going to get this person to do this for me’…’they are going to take care of all my needs’, you will wake up –someday– and realize that just isn’t the case.

Wake up call: Your husband or wife, isn’t going to meet all of your needs. Instead of sucking them dry expecting them to meet all of your needs, maybe you should try to show them love by doing something extra for them…by serving them.

When you go out and serve people, you realize how good it feels to help others. We forget that in our marriages.

What if you shift your thinking from ‘I’m gonna get them to take care of my needs’ to: ‘I’m going to serve them. I’m going above and beyond…I will help out, I will love them in the way they like to be loved without their asking (or begging).’

Serving others on Thanksgiving day is the first little step in getting outside yourself, rather than just focusing on getting your needs met.

Get into the spirit of serving:

• Many cities have local missions or shelters where they provide Thanksgiving meal for people and often need help!

• You could find a church or synagogue that delivers Thanksgiving dinner to the elderly and sign up to deliver or help cook before hand.

• Go volunteer at the Red Cross or United way.

• If you don’t want to be all ‘organized’… do it on your own. Take meals to older folks that you know…ask around your neighborhood and see if anyone there might not have anywhere to visit for Thanksgiving.

• If you don’t want to leave your house, invite people over to your home…you don’t have to cook the whole meal, you can do potluck.

You never know. This Thanksgiving could be the holiday that changes your relationship and your life…by switching your focus from being served to serving others — those less fortunate than you…and your spouse who sleeps next to you.