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The Simple Pleasures Date

November 3, 2009

guitarIt has been said, “The best things in life are free.” I think for the most part, that is true. From that, one might extrapolate that free dates can be the best kind. I know for some guys out there, it may be hard to believe. A lot of guys have the psychology that a “hot lady” requires a huge price tag for the date. I can only speak for myself but I married a very hot lady and she does not require a lot of money to be spent on a date. For a free date to work for me, however, it requires a few elements which I will discuss below.

You surprise her

Every woman on Earth wants to be pampered to some extent. How do I know? I have a mom, 2 sisters, a wife, and 3 ex’s. Trust me … this one’s true. I’ve noticed the local beauty spa is getting a LOT of traffic. The point I am getting to is your effort. It’s not a fun date if she has to think of what you will do.  Plan it. Just by doing that you will become desirable like the beauty spa. They will feel like they can relax and let their mind enter a fantasy mode.

You make the preparation

Whether it’s wrapping tuna sandwiches in wax paper and packing them in a picnic basket or driving to see if the park is open. You need to go through the motions of the date and make sure you take care of any snags before you pick her up. You might paint rocks along a trail that have little messages for her. Or you might even just have a card behind a planter where she can “find” it later. The key is that she senses you went to some effort to prepare for the date. Once we went to the lake at a local community college and I had hidden my guitar behind a boulder. It was pretty funny.


Folks, I am a type-A personality, I hardly ever shut up. When I finally realized this and started listening more to my girlfriends and later wife, my relationships got so much better. In a free date situation, you can go ahead and be an active listener to your wife or girlfriend. She may have a lot to say or not much at all but the key to good chemistry on the date is for you to shut up. Got it? 😉

Tell her what you love about her

This may fall under the “preparations” area. Don’t go blind into this one. Even if you have to pull a little list out, you’re still okay if you have one. Spend some time thinking about it. The key ingredient to this step is: be genuine. My wife and I work together teaching at the same school so I always have stuff I notice about her. The other day I told her I appreciated the way she was patient with a certain student. I could see she appreciated the compliment because it was about a situation she knew I witnessed and it meant a lot to her.

If you do all these things, your free date will will go well. More importantly, your wife will get pampered and you will have time alone with her where you hear what she has to say. If you have any free date ideas, please share in the comments. Have fun being romantic while you save money!

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I’m a teacher and songwriter in California. It's always a pleasure writing for It Might be Love. I married my wife in 2002 and we have 3 kids. You can read more about me at my Google profile here. Get updates on Twitter and on my blog.

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