my partner just broke up with me, and I am disappointed. we had been together for two days shy of a year. long distance and my being in graduate school on top of working were two external stressors, but we still had good intimacy weekly and talked on the phone daily. my perspective is that we had a couple fights over the year, like, about 5, but always worked it through, but in the last couple months, he was more critical of me and distant. he is a musician with hopes of going on the road (but no plans) and I would like to settle down at some point.

our break up was amicable, and I didn’t fight it. my m.o. is always to avoid the ex for at least a month, with the hope that we can eventually develop a friendship.

but ten days later, he emailed me about missing me as a friend, I wrote a short similar email. then he texted me, then he called me. on the phone, I was polite, but unexpansive in response to him. he just chatted and told me he missed my friendship. I told him I needed time where we weren’t in contact, no offense.

then, last night, I broke down and called him back. we talked for three hours, like one of our best talks during our relationship. i told him that I felt I had been rude when he called earlier, but I have been feeling sad, and seriously need to not hear from him for a couple months so we can get over each other. at the end of the call, I said goodbye.

he texted “nice to talk with you” in the morning, I texted “we, at our best’ and he texted “I agree”.

we really need a no contact pact. I am still in a weak state, where I easily start to fantasize that we could work things out.

shines last blog post..From dNeero-ites about Christmas