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How do You Know if You Can Trust Your Boyfriend?

October 21, 2008


Relationship Questions Answered: How Do You Know if You Can Trust Your Boyfriend?

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When you first start dating someone, or even if you’ve been together for several months or years, it can be difficult to tell how you know if you can trust your boyfriend. It is easy for someone to be suspicious of another’s activities, especially if there have been problems in the past of possible cheating or lying.

There are many reasons why you might want to find out how do you know if you can trust your boyfriend – maybe they have seemed a little too friendly with someone else, have been acting strangely all of a sudden, or maybe something has happened that has caused this doubt of trust in your relationship. You may start wondering if the signs he is cheating are there. Others may simply just be over paranoid. They’ve been hurt in the past, and so trusting someone can be difficult to do again, even if the two people are nothing alike!

In general though, it’s pretty safe to say that a few certain signs exist when you CAN trust someone and there are also other signs that you cannot trust someone.

Here are a few signs you can trust someone:

  • He is always interested in how you are, what you are doing, where you will be, and if he can come along – he wants to be as much of a part of your life as you will let him
  • He genuinely listens to you
  • He is not “only after one thing” with you – the physical side of your relationship is not as important or prominent as the emotional side
  • You feel comfortable and at ease when together – nothing makes you feel uncomfortable, anxious, or nervous
  • The facts check out – you can verify that the person is not lying to you
  • You can talk about something bothering you in the relationship or your insecurities without him getting angry, mad, or defensive

Here are a few signs that you CANNOT trust someone:

  • It sounds “too good to be true”
  • He does not give details or is vague about what he did
  • He does not make direct eye contact with you
  • Your instincts make you think something is unusual
  • He has repeatedly broken your trust after multiple times or has been caught before
  • He has an excuse and a sob story for everything

Knowing these signs can help you decide if you should actually trust your boyfriend or not. You may also want to examine if it is your own insecurities or issues that are causing the lack of trust in your relationship. If you do trust trust your boyfriend it’s important that you find out why and either decide to end the relationship or work on building trust in the relationship, since very few relationships can thrive when there is a lack of trust between the two people.

If you choose to learn how to trust someone better, remember that part of building trust in a relationship is GIVING trust. If you wholeheartedly trust someone without any doubt it can help that person feel like since you trust them they owe it to you to be trustworthy. Unfortunately, there are also people who take advantage of this trust and of course are not deserving of your trust since they will only use it in ways that which might hurt you later down the road. But in general giving someone your trust (and them being aware that you’ve given it to them) can make a big difference in their decision making.

The best thing to do if you do not trust your boyfriend is to talk to him about it and find out why. He may become defensive (which could be a sign that he shouldn’t be trusted!) or he may be very relaxed about talking about it with you and what things you can both work on to put more trust in your relationship. Talking about it with the other person is the best way to know if you can trust them or not.

What do you think? How do you know if you can trust someone? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Chelle is a freelance writer and married to the funniest guy in the world, mom of some cute crazy kids, and write mostly from my own experiences in love and relationships.

5 Responses to How do You Know if You Can Trust Your Boyfriend?

  1. Alex@Funny Posters on October 21, 2008 at 11:27 am

    You also have to use common sense, and your gut (without being paranoid). If you sense something is off, it probably is. Just don’t get too consumed in thinking something might be wrong, and look at everything objectively.

    Alexs last blog post..Hate Crime

  2. Jerry@singles with herpes on October 22, 2008 at 6:08 pm

    you could always get a hold of his phone and check to see if he has been texting or has any unusual calls from females o_O

  3. kouji@haiku poems examples on October 27, 2008 at 7:52 am

    you also need to give it time. maybe in the beginning, there will be red flags that you don’t notice right away. but if you’re around each other enough, if he or she is hiding something, then something might slip through and be noticed by you.

    koujis last blog post..autumn haiku poem

  4. Kevin@Great Wall of China on October 29, 2008 at 9:00 pm

    Why get yourself into these foolish relationships in the first place? I just dont get it.

  5. girlfriend fashion on November 7, 2008 at 4:38 am

    It is normal to have that kind of feeling. Most girls feel the same. How would you think of the gifts your boy sent to you is just a replica designer handbag like Chanel? I just got a gift from watch-youbags.com, the bag is fake, but the love is true.