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This is a guest post by Damien Riley in his “Love Homework” Series. Other posts in this series include: Chores and Kisses, Mirroring, Love Homework.
I consider myself a bit of a lover and a dreamer. That’s why I appreciate every opportunity to guestblog here at IMBL. A big thank you again to Chelle for having me.
The subject of this post is: “Include Your Spouse.” One quick and easy way to help keep your relationship healthy is simply to include your spouse in the stuff you do. It may sound obvious, but I’ve known a lot of couples who never did anything together and eventually split up. Worse than that, I’ve know some that lived separate lives, stayed together, and remain miserable. It doesn’t have to be that way.
Let me give you an example of including your spouse: I work as a teacher at a school about 8 miles from our home, (BTW I have a blog of teaching notes and a diary about that). When my wife and I met, she was the “trophy wife” at special events but I never invited her to Friday “debriefings” at the local bar where we all hang out. As time progressed, my wife began to ask questions about my colleagues and especially in the times here and there when I’d go to the “debriefings” (BTW, we call them that as a joke, it is just happy hour with a teacherly name). As I started inviting my wife, it started becoming like a date for us. My staff began to know her better and eventually she started working at my school as a sub. Now, everybody at my school knows her and has her card to sub for them. The best part is when I mention people at work now, she knows the back-story etc. first hand.
Here’s another example of the woman including the man: My wife participates in a “Mom’s Group” online that has occasional get togethers for “Bunco.” When she came home she’d tell me all the drama and hilarity that went on with the people there. I never really cared to be part of it but one day she invited me to come on a “couples” Bunco. It was great. Again, the best part is now when I hear something is happening with someone in the group I can put a face to a name etc. It really strengthened our relationship to do that together.
So much emphasis is put on “guys night” or “gals night” out these days. Some people will even tell you it is good to be apart sometimes. That is true I think, and maybe a that’s good idea for another post. BUT, as for this one, I want to remind couples to include their spouse. It could mean the world to them.
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I have stories for you, yes it is very good to have time together with your spouse. I have been married for 9 years and with my wife for 12. One thing that happened is we had no social lives outside of each other and spent every day together, this actually came to damage our relationship when one of us finally made a friend outside the marriage and started spending time apart.
Always make time for each other, but don’t become dependent on each other either for all your partner’s time and attention.
I like this post. Especially this quote:”One quick and easy way to help keep your relationship healthy is simply to include your spouse in the stuff you do.” This is so true! Make yours spouse a partner to you and she will love you!
You have a good point Dragon Blogger, thanks for the comment!
You know what, I haven’t married yet.However, I have been together with my boyfriend for almost 8 years.And our relationship is just as wonderful as before. Marriage is aother process of love, no matter you are married or not, don’t forget that you are not only couples but also individuals. Each of you need your own space and time.Of course,it must be based on mutual trust. Enjoy every moment with and without your spouse.
Emmas last blog post..Can you smell that sexy taste of Matthew Williamson?
@Dragon Blogger: Thanks for your comment. When my wife and I were married, the lady doing the ceremony said we should travel apart but come back together. I am familiar with that. In this post I tried to cover the coming together part. I think you’ve given me the idea for my next post in this series.
@Kevin: Thanks for the positive agreement of my message about coming together!
@Emma: See my last paragraph in the post and my response to Dragon Blogger. Thank you so much for commenting and reading IMBL.
Damien Rileys last blog post..Having a Bad Ink Day?
[...] Love Homework: Include Your Spouse A quick and easy way to foster more love in your marriage is to simply include your spouse in the things you do. This is a guestblog I wrote for a true bloggy friend of mine Chelle at “It Might be Love.” Check it out. [...]
true. it’s a tricky balancing act, since you want to have your own personal lives, but at the same time, it feels nice to be included in something that’s usually not a joint activity.
koujis last blog post..haiku poem: dry
I think that spending too much time apart is bad. But I also think dragon is correct. Not spending any time apart can also cause problems in a marriage.
Finding time to spend with your spouse is highly important. Any relationship need time to make it grow.
I think you’re right. Many times I’m so self centered in my job that I care nothing about her job. Thanks for the wake up call!!
I divide my time between work and my wife so she doesn’t get angry with me because I spend more time working. She is happier now!!