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Love Homework: Include Your Spouse

September 17, 2008

This is a guest post by Damien Riley in his “Love Homework” Series. Other posts in this series include: Chores and Kisses, Mirroring, Love Homework.

I consider myself a bit of a lover and a dreamer.  That’s why I appreciate every opportunity to guestblog here at IMBL.  A big thank you again to Chelle for having me.

The subject of this post is: “Include Your Spouse.”  One quick and easy way to help keep your relationship healthy is simply to include your spouse in the stuff you do. It may sound obvious, but I’ve known a lot of couples who never did anything together and eventually split up.  Worse than that, I’ve know some that lived separate lives, stayed together, and remain miserable.  It doesn’t have to be that way.

Let me give you an example of including your spouse:  I work as a teacher at a school about 8 miles from our home, (BTW I have a blog of teaching notes and a diary about that).  When my wife and I met, she was the “trophy wife” at special events but I never invited her to Friday “debriefings” at the local bar where we all hang out.  As time progressed, my wife began to ask questions about my colleagues and especially in the times here and there when I’d go to the “debriefings” (BTW, we call them that as a joke, it is just happy hour with a teacherly name).  As I started inviting my wife, it started becoming like a date for us.  My staff began to know her better and eventually she started working at my school as a sub.  Now, everybody at my school knows her and has her card to sub for them.  The best part is when I mention people at work now, she knows the back-story etc. first hand.

Here’s another example of the woman including the man: My wife participates in a “Mom’s Group” online that has occasional get togethers for “Bunco.”  When she came home she’d tell me all the drama and hilarity that went on with the people there.  I never really cared to be part of it but one day she invited me to come on a “couples” Bunco.  It was great.  Again, the best part is now when I hear something is happening with someone in the group I can put a face to a name etc.  It really strengthened our relationship to do that together.

So much emphasis is put on “guys night” or “gals night” out these days.  Some people will even tell you it is good to be apart sometimes.  That is true I think, and maybe a that’s good idea for another post.  BUT, as for this one, I want to remind couples to include their spouse.  It could mean the world to them.

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I’m a teacher and songwriter in California. It's always a pleasure writing for It Might be Love. I married my wife in 2002 and we have 3 kids. You can read more about me at my Google profile here. Get updates on Twitter and on my blog.

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