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Living Together Before Marriage

September 8, 2008

Many couples who are getting serious will wonder if they should start living together before marriage. It’s become far more acceptable today than ever before, with many areas providing local legislation to provide for insurance and benefits of domestic partnerships. As more and more people are living less “traditionally”, living together before getting married is now considered just as normal as waiting until after the wedding date to schedule the moving truck.

However, just because living together before marriage is no longer considered taboo does it mean that moving in together is always a good idea.

When asking yourself “should we move in together?”, think about these Pros and Cons of living together before marriage first.

Pros of Living Together Before Marriage

  • You have a chance to find out if you can live together in peace and harmony before making a final commitment.
  • You will find out any annoying habits of your future spouse early on.
  • You can test drive to see how you do managing money together and balancing housework.
  • It can save you money if you are currently both paying separate rents and utilities for two different places or currently live far apart from each other.

Cons of Living Together Before Marriage

  • You or your partner may find yourselves arguing more over petty things, like who left the towels on the floor.
  • You will lose your personal space and privacy.
  • Without official commitment, you may be more likely to break up if things get rough.
  • Getting married/having a wedding might not seem as special or it could take take longer to make happen.
  • You may still get a little grief from religious folks or people with traditional values.

This post isn’t here to be judgmental about living before marriage or to persuade you into one viewpoint or another. It is simply to help guide you to make the right decision for your relationship. Weighing the pros and cons of living together before you make the decision will make a big difference in your overall happiness and success in your relationship.

Even though living together and marriage are not exactly the same thing, and they certainly do have some differences, there’s a great article I read that has some very good advice for not only married couples but those who are considering living together before getting married. It’s about 20 marriage principles that are sure to help any couple be happier whether married or testing the waters.

What are your thoughts on living together before marriage? Share your viewpoint in the comments below.

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