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Signs He is Cheating

August 26, 2008


When your partner is acting differently, it can be difficult to tell the signs he is cheating on you if you are concerned that your boyfriend or husband might be being unfaithful. You can’t always recognize the signs he is cheating on you on your own, even when it is obvious to everyone else. Sometimes it will take all of these signs or the suggestions from family and friends before you finally realize something fishy might be going on.

It should also be noted that just because your guy might be displaying some of these signs he is cheating on you, that does not always mean he actually IS cheating on you. But they are a good warning sign that something is up – maybe he is stressed out by work, hiding an addiction or drinking problem or facing other concerns since the behaviors may be the same. If you see these signs, it’s never a bad idea to find out what the source of the problem is. Even if it is not cheating, many things such as abusing alcohol or can be just as equally hurtful to a relationship.

10 Signs He is Cheating on You
1. Extreme privacy concerns: Does your guy flip his laptop closed or change screens on the computer when you walk into a room? Does he get mad when you look at his cell phone or nervous when he leaves it alone with you? Does he get defensive when you go through his pockets before washing his clothes? These are all signs that he is hiding something. Normal, well adjusted guys do not care if you find their pocket lint or know that they called to order a pizza last night.

2. The Disappearance Act: Does he “go out with the guys” more than he goes out with you? Is he late coming home from work EVERY night? Is he feeding you lame excuses like “I have to visit my grandma”? (If he was really visiting grandma, why not take you with him?) Does he go more than a few hours without returning your phone call and no explanation? Does it seem like he always has his phone off? Do even his friends and family members not know where he is? These could be all signs that he is cheating on you.

3. Distance and Less Affection: When someone is not being fully honest with you and not giving 100% into a relationship, you will start to notice that you are growing distant. He may be less affectionate, less communicative, and less responsive than he was before. If any of these things start to happen to you, it’s important to find out why. It could also show signs of depression or other problems, so do not ignore it if it seems like he is withdrawn or less interested in you.

4. Sudden Over Attention: If for three weeks you went without hardly seeing him, chances are he will want to make it up to you, and you will naively believe that it’s wonderful and it makes you feel special. You might get unexpected presents or romance. While some guys might do this out of honestly being too busy and feeling like you deserve it, it can be one of the signs he is cheating on you if it is motivated by guilt.

5. Extreme Jealousy: All of a sudden, your guy starts getting upset when you talk to another friend of the opposite sex. He cares who you’re talking to on the phone and what you’re doing on your computer. He may even accuse YOU of cheating even with no evidence or proof. These are the cheater’s way of projecting the guilt on you.

6. Small Lies Usually Equal Big Lies: The cheater is often full of many lies. The big ones you will believe, but the smaller ones you might start to notice. Chances are you will probably just shrug them off as him being forgetful, but if you notice a lot of inconsistent stories, you may want to do a little more research. Saying he was at his grandma’s last Tuesday to you and that he went fishing that same day to someone else shows that he’s not being honest.

7. New Hobbies or Friends: It should have been a huge red flag to me when my ex, an avid fan of alternative and rock music, said to me “Did you hear that new Britney Spears song? It’s pretty good…” It can be one of the signs he is cheating on you if he starts developing new hobbies and interests that seem a little unusual to his normal personality. He might talk about places he went to with his friends that seem kind of strange – like a coffee spot when he does not typically drink coffee. You may also notice he’s met some new friends – but you have no idea how he met them.

8. He tells you to take some time for yourself: He might start encouraging you to have an all girls night out or to spend a day shopping or some other type of self-indulgent activity. This could be his way of keeping you occupied while he is tending to the other relationship.

9. Mutual Friends Act Differently: Your cheating guy might have not hid his secret from his friends if they are more loyal towards him. They might not talk as much as before, or they may try to avoid seeing you altogether since they do not want to be caught in the middle of having your heart broken.

10. Your Intuition: If you are looking for the signs he is cheating on you or asking yourself “Is My Man Cheating on Me”, then chances are you already know the answer. Our bodies are hard wired to sense these kinds of things – yet most of us choose to ignore and deny them. If you feel suspicious, there’s a good reason for it.

While there are many other signs he could be cheating you, this list highlights the ones that you will actually take notice of. For a more comprehensive list of signs he is cheating on you, check out some of the books below. Tomorrow we’ll add to this list of signs he is cheating on you with our guide on how to catch a man cheating. To make sure you don’t miss it, click here to subscribe by email.

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Chelle is a freelance writer and married to the funniest guy in the world, mom of some cute crazy kids, and write mostly from my own experiences in love and relationships.

10 Responses to Signs He is Cheating

  1. Damien Riley on August 26, 2008 at 2:40 pm

    You know what is funny about these “# signs he is cheating” Seventeen magazine type posts is that the people who are really in denial will not pay attention to them. I know someone who was experiencing these symptoms in her marriage for a few years before the guy finally left. She would never listen to any of us when we told her these signs.

    Having said that, I think this list could possibly point out to someone that they are in a bad relationship and they should get some counseling before it’s too late. Great post, as always.

  2. Tiffanie on August 26, 2008 at 6:39 pm

    Thankfully I’ve never been in the position to need these tips, but it all does seem to make sense.

    Tiffanies last blog post..a look at the 7 “debtly” sins

  3. Chelle on August 26, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    You are sadly right Damien…it took me a LONG time to realize my ex was a slimeball…Thankfully now I am like Tiffany and have no need to worry.

    Chelles last blog post..Signs He is Cheating

  4. Loren @ Sandals on August 27, 2008 at 5:06 pm

    To tell you the truth, some of these could really help me 12 months ago. But there is one chip inside of me that doesn’t want to believe in harsh truth.

    But you learn best on your own experiences. It hurts, but that’s the best teacher ever.

    Lorens last blog post..Men’s Sandals

  5. kouji@haiku poem on August 31, 2008 at 9:10 pm

    i’m a big believer in the first sign. thing is, if your companion is cheating on you, he or she’ll be in communication with someone else, and that means phone use, email use, that sort of thing. so it’s almost a sure thing that he or she’ll suddenly become less open when it comes to these gadgets or their use.

    koujis last blog post..haiku poem: streets

  6. Catch a Man Cheating: A How To Guide on September 8, 2008 at 11:52 pm

    [...] you have recognized some of the signs he is cheating on you, the next step is naturally to catch a man [...]

  7. Shiela on September 9, 2008 at 8:04 pm

    This is a must reading and important guidance for every women. I know that negative thinking is not a good manner. However we need to be aware before the worst dream of every women happened in our life.

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  10. Dent @ courtier en hypotheque on November 18, 2008 at 10:19 am

    Trust is the basis of a long lasting relationship.. but if you notice this 5 out of this 10 signs to your partner.. better think twice.. lol
    nice post!