Comments on: Are You Being Insensitive? http://www.itmightbelove.com/2008/05/26/are-you-being-insensitive/ dating & relationship inspiration Wed, 05 Jan 2011 09:05:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Chelle http://www.itmightbelove.com/2008/05/26/are-you-being-insensitive/#comment-236 Chelle Wed, 28 May 2008 15:08:06 +0000 http://www.itmightbelove.com/?p=162#comment-236 Jillian: It is hard to know what the right thing to say is...I think being there just to listen sometimes, and/or knowing when to leave someone alone can speak volumes :) Woobie: I think many people do it as a defense mechanism - by showing you care you definitely open yourself up to being used and abused sometimes. Marc: You're right about not wanting to be extreme one way or another - everything in moderation as I always say :) Awesome tip on listening - it does help both the listener be more attentiove and the talker feel like they are being listened to. Thanks for all the comments everyone! Jillian: It is hard to know what the right thing to say is…I think being there just to listen sometimes, and/or knowing when to leave someone alone can speak volumes :)

Woobie: I think many people do it as a defense mechanism – by showing you care you definitely open yourself up to being used and abused sometimes.

Marc: You’re right about not wanting to be extreme one way or another – everything in moderation as I always say :) Awesome tip on listening – it does help both the listener be more attentiove and the talker feel like they are being listened to.

Thanks for all the comments everyone!

]]> By: Marc http://www.itmightbelove.com/2008/05/26/are-you-being-insensitive/#comment-235 Marc Wed, 28 May 2008 05:43:02 +0000 http://www.itmightbelove.com/?p=162#comment-235 Left to my own devices, I think that I fall somewhere in between the two extremes: overly sensitive when it comes to people that I care about, and absolutely "don't give a sh*t" for people I don't care about. I have worked hard to learn to listen to people that I barely know, and to dial down the sensitivity for the people that I do, as neither extreme is particularly healthy. You have some really good tips there, and I would just add to the listening one: I was taught the "look to listen" rule. This means that in order to really listen to someone, its best to look them in the eyes as you listen. This does two things: first, it helps you to remain focused on them. Second, it makes them feel listened to, which is equally important. Keep up the good work :-) Marc Marcs last blog post..<a href="http://www.incurable-romantic.com/updates/lets-talk-about-sex" rel="nofollow">Let’s Talk About Sex!</a> Left to my own devices, I think that I fall somewhere in between the two extremes: overly sensitive when it comes to people that I care about, and absolutely “don’t give a sh*t” for people I don’t care about. I have worked hard to learn to listen to people that I barely know, and to dial down the sensitivity for the people that I do, as neither extreme is particularly healthy.

You have some really good tips there, and I would just add to the listening one: I was taught the “look to listen” rule. This means that in order to really listen to someone, its best to look them in the eyes as you listen. This does two things: first, it helps you to remain focused on them. Second, it makes them feel listened to, which is equally important.

Keep up the good work :-)

Marc

Marcs last blog post..Let’s Talk About Sex!

]]> By: evilwoobie http://www.itmightbelove.com/2008/05/26/are-you-being-insensitive/#comment-233 evilwoobie Tue, 27 May 2008 06:34:31 +0000 http://www.itmightbelove.com/?p=162#comment-233 It took a long time for me to perfect the "insensitive" stance. :D I'm too sensitive, methinks. Sometimes, people act insensitive to not be hurt too much. That said, I conclude that there are people who are deliberately insensitive so that they can keep their sensitivity from being abused. Did that make sense? :D evilwoobies last blog post..<a href="http://evilwoobie.com/2008/05/26/online-dating-how-to/" rel="nofollow">Online Dating How To</a> It took a long time for me to perfect the “insensitive” stance. :D I’m too sensitive, methinks. Sometimes, people act insensitive to not be hurt too much. That said, I conclude that there are people who are deliberately insensitive so that they can keep their sensitivity from being abused.

Did that make sense? :D

evilwoobies last blog post..Online Dating How To

]]> By: Jillian http://www.itmightbelove.com/2008/05/26/are-you-being-insensitive/#comment-232 Jillian Mon, 26 May 2008 22:33:33 +0000 http://www.itmightbelove.com/?p=162#comment-232 I wouldn't say I'm insensitive, but I have a hard time "being there" for people. Like I don't know what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you and I don't know what to do if some girl is stringing a guy along. I have no idea how to react to someone dealing with the loss of a loved one. When my mom died... I got so sick of hearing "I'm sorry". I don't know. I'd just as soon a person NOT call me for stuff like that. I wind up feeling extremely uncomfortable. But I can listen if that's all you need. I'm not good at giving advice or offering solutions... not when it comes to emotional things anyway. Jillians last blog post..<a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLoquaciouslyVerboseRamblingsOf1Slacker/~3/298247149/" rel="nofollow">Natural Flotation Devices or “Big Ole Titties”</a> I wouldn’t say I’m insensitive, but I have a hard time “being there” for people. Like I don’t know what to do if your boyfriend is cheating on you and I don’t know what to do if some girl is stringing a guy along. I have no idea how to react to someone dealing with the loss of a loved one. When my mom died… I got so sick of hearing “I’m sorry”.

I don’t know. I’d just as soon a person NOT call me for stuff like that. I wind up feeling extremely uncomfortable. But I can listen if that’s all you need. I’m not good at giving advice or offering solutions… not when it comes to emotional things anyway.

Jillians last blog post..Natural Flotation Devices or “Big Ole Titties”

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